Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Rope Shoot

Thanks to Jake (rigger) and HCoyote (photographer) for the wonderful chance to shoot.

It was quick and fun. Perhaps I'll begin to feel a little more relaxed about having my picture taken. I have a lot of personal baggage and will scrutinize until I am invisible to myself, so taking pictures is a tough barrier for me to overcome.

I DO NOT see myself as others see me and I know this (body image disturbance the docs call it). Mr. V has been working to help me get over this for years and His love and support have helped. I have struggled for years to overcome the damage sustained when black features weren't popular and were frowned upon. My lips, nose, skin... as a child, being asked if I had a tail as some child's mother told her blacks had tails like the devil. Seems silly now, but damaging when the same comments are repeated from the earliest age of comprehension through high school.

Surprising me is that my life in kink has also helped to break through a few cement walls. Hopefully I can get through some more with the love and support of the awesome people I've met within the community. I have never been so embraced and felt so accepted in my life, and I appreciate every last one of them.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

First Encounter

Threesome by Miguel Tio

My first encounter with kink came rather unexpectedly and took weeks to process exactly what happened for everyone involved. The situation just evolved when I went over to my close friend's apartment.

His cousin was staying over and we all ended up hanging out the whole day, talking and laughing. The day rolled into night and Snake asked me if I was going to stay over. This was our usual conversation after hanging out, and the translation for this is, "Do you wanna fuck?" I'd known him for 4+ years at this point, so hell yeah I'm staying over.

We went back to his place, ate and drank more. We set up a bed on the floor for his cousin. He was viewed as being a bit of a third wheel, but he was Snake's cousin and I felt that I had very little say in the matter. Snake and I settled into a cuddle on the couch. We talked for a little while longer, started kissing and his cousin turned out the lights the moment Snake's hand went into my shorts.

Snake was magical with his hands, tongue and everything else. He was a deliciously sensual and skilled lover. He had the ability to make me cum non-stop for a minimum of 30 minutes straight. Screaming orgasms that caused my legs to tremble uncontrollably, a puddle beneath me, and being scratched by my own nails dug into my skin. He was so good, my pussy was wet just from the sight of him. He was smokin' hot, sexy and gorgeous also. 6 pack, broad shoulders, very athletic, extremely high endurance.

Anyway, I ended up on that bed made for his cousin after riding Snake on the couch, then doggie on the edge of couch, being eaten on the edge of it and various other positions. Finally on the bed, Snake was holding my legs on his shoulders just about to make me cum when his cousin tapped on his shoulder and whispered in his ear. Snake pulled out and moved up to my chest, placing his penis between my breasts and began stroking. Suddenly, I felt a warm mouth on my clit and realized that his cousin was eating my pussy, and rather well. I was attempting to hold out on cumming clitorally, but my body gave in before my mind and I came everywhere. He made a remark about me shooting on his face to Snake, but Snake was all about his business and serious about the whole situation.

The casual titty fuck position Snake initially took changed while my mind was trying to process what he was doing, then I realized that I was pinned down. I struggled against Snake trying to move him, I was confused as this was not something he had normally done and a tiny voice in the back of my head made me suspicious of a man I trusted with my life. His cousin began penetrating me and I began to fight more. He was so huge, he was a man that I would've normally turned down in any other situation because I just couldn't accomodate him. Every half inch he entered increased the fear that I would tear. He entered slowly, I could tell he was trying to be gentle but I was still cursing and fighting. I was mad at Snake for not warning me, or stopping this and for holding me down.

After finally entering me most of the way, he began a smooth, extremely rhythmic motion. I still felt like he was inside my uterus, but the pleasure component began to take over. Once my yelling began to settle into intense moaning, Snake lifted off of me and let his cousin take over. He threw me into so many positions, fucking me as well as he ate me. I came in missionary, I came facing him standing, I came side by side, I lost track of how long and how many positions I came in but I began to finally lose my steam. I got tired, I was panting and unsure if I could take anymore. He asked me if I was ready for him to cum, the first time I heard him speak directly to me all day. His voice was sexy and deep, that quality of bass that makes a woman's nipples hard. I told him yes and he nodded to Snake, who returned to his former position.

Again the brief confusion over what is going on as Snake restrained me but his grip was much firmer than he had ever held me before. He remained completely emotionally stoic. He didn't sway one inch to my pleas of what he was doing and why, but it seems that he knew what was to happen already. His cousin's slow and gentle movements were for my benefit so I could cum. For him to cum, he had to pound me using the entire length of his dick, not half as he had been doing.

He began fucking me harder than I've been fucked by men half his size. He was "roughly" 13+ inches long and 3 1/2 inches wide. Snake's response to my screaming was to gag me with my own panties. I began fighting with everything I could but was no match for Snake's strength. The pain was overwhelming but exquisite. Tears began flowing which finally illicited a response from Snake, he leaned forward to kiss the tears, shush me, and was talking dirty to me (which he knew turned me on tremendously) while I was still pinned down. My legs tiring of unsuccessfully trying to fight off his cousin, he still continued his onslaught without mercy. The inner part of my thighs sore, I knew they'd be bruised the next day.

Screaming through a gag, crying and finally my legs began trembling again from this extreme orgasm that began creeping in slowly. The contractions in my pussy seemed to motivate him to be rougher as he put his hands under my ass, angling me so he could go deeper. My hips stopped fighting and I began riding his cock, calling his name and begging him to keep fucking me. This is another rarity, as I don't beg or call anyone's name but I was not in control on this one. Gag in mouth, it was hard to understand me anyway so my dignity remains intact for the most part. I soon exploded in a way I'd never done before or since this night, cumming at the same time as his cousin.

He pulled out and the three of us laid quietly with me in the middle for a while. I began the long process of trying to understand how I could've came this way through so much pain. The craving to repeat this scene was extremely deep, my head spun and my stomach cramped with needing to have it. This started the rough play, hair pulling, spankings, total control, rape scenes, biting and bondage for me. Snake was taken back by his role as well, that he enjoyed having so much control over me, his first experience in Top space. His cousin said he was just happy he finally got to put the entire cock in for a change.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Kinky Drawers

I was so nervous for my first time being a live model for these artists. I have never done anything like that before. For some strange reason, I suddenly feared my own body and what others would think of it. Knowing that artists have such a keen eye, I thought they would frown at any imperfections they noticed. Yet they were great. Very kind, inviting, and did the best they could to put me at ease and make me feel welcomed. I always say that I am not a model by any sense of the word; I just thought it'd be fun to give it a try.

Mr. V. was there to provide comfort and was my safety blanket. One of the artists had noticed right away that the moment I felt unsafe I went to go sit on his lap. I initially hadn't noticed that I had done this, but with his nod of affirmation, I had to realize that this is a pattern that I have. I do feel safer in his arms and know that he would never let anything hurt me.

The first pose was rather benign and casual. Incredibly, I soon realized that even the most relaxing pose can get pretty tough to hold when you have to remain completely still for 30 minutes. Pressure points build up and there is a constant need to balance meditative thought to stay in position while ignoring the position. My yoga practice helped and this experience has helped to inspire me to continue to practice.

The artists are like me in that they were so critical of their own work. More critical than I in that I saw the beauty of their talents and abilities. To me, it is magical to be able to take life and recreate it using a blank canvas and pencils. There exists a form of spirituality within that plane that I think many take for granted, no matter what the level of skill may be.

The second pose was a lot more demanding, a birthing pose. Lying face down on the floor with my knees spread apart, stomach between thighs, toes touching, arms outstretched, head tucked and remaining for about 30 minutes. I began to have my own spiritual experience. Floating between one consciousness and another, concentrating on the movement of air into my nose, filling my lungs and circulating throughout my body. I did my best to transfer tension, pressure and pain to alternating sides until I finally couldn't take the sensation in my lower legs any longer. The tingling sensation of my knees remaining bent for so long had passed and a stage began where there was an unusual sense of pain. It did not feel specific to my legs, yet existed as a roaring ache flowing upward until my tolerance reached its peak and I stretched upward to revive my body.

My Daddy was right there to help me get to standing and upon realizing I couldn't move my feet to walk, he picked me up in one smooth motion and set me on his lap. My feet turned pink and the pins and needles sensation in them was overwhelming. Of course, the Lady of the house seized the opportunity to rub my feet in that condition and I expected no less. I was thrilled to have Her do it (what a damn masochist).

I enjoyed the entire experience and thank everyone who let me be a part of it. Daddy and I are talking about returning to the next one and bringing another youngster with us next time. He is a talented young man, another artist, and he is kinky as well. This might be an awesome idea, as I do need a boy to play with and it's someone my Troll already likes.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Dragon's Tail

Dragon Prince by Boris Vallejo

Usually, I play in the dark slowly stepping toward the edge without any idea of where it may be. Feeling around blindfolded until I think I feel it then bounce around somewhere near it to see how far I can push it. Not so with my first experience with a dragon's tail.

He said he would give a couple of warm up taps so I can get a feel for what it's like. The first one was a delay, an almost "what was that?" The second swing was the one that brought the hell. By the third swing, my nails were dug in, my back was arched, a moan escaped and I was immediately at the edge and knew it. It was like someone took the blinders off and I could see very clearly where my edge was and there was no bouncing around this one.

It was raw, gritty, dirty and inescapable. A tear was brought to my eye as I stretched my ass as far as I could get it for another. The pain shot through me like a nuclear fire, yet settled in the waters of my pussy and the moans that sang out. Unforgiving, it made my nipples harder with each strike. Unconsoling, my body began winding up into a pre-orgasmic state. In front of an audience, no one else existed except the dragon's tail and I, tottering and almost falling over my edge together.

I loved it and feared it simultaneously. I wanted more with a drive I've rarely felt before, yet wasn't sure of how much more I could take. The yeses and nos that argued back and forth in my mind, the stinging pain that fought against my orgasm, the tears that cooled the heat - no wonder I loved it and can't wait to do it again. Only next time, a more private setting and a little foreplay for a change.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


We’ve been together for so many years and sometimes, it’s hard for you to understand why I don’t always want to fuck. It has nothing to do with a lack of attraction, you are the most beautiful and perfect man occupying my world. Being the King of my home, your reign is exquisite in my life and I cherish being your Queen, your princess, your concubine, your muse and your consultant.

The problem, my love, is that you keep presenting me with the same old dick day after day. I could never admit to you that I need some different dick as you’d take it the wrong way. I don’t need another man in my life to complicate what we currently have but I do need for you to be that different dick. Don’t keep bringing me the same meal served on the same plate with every meal daily for 6 years. Even the drinks are the same. I want you to switch it up and change your presentation to inspire me. Make the effort to be all those different dicks that I fantasize about.

Be my thug dick whose only mission is to beat it up; make it rough, fast and dirty. My intellectual dick that has studied a multitude of spiritual theories, incantations, spells and karmic positions to bend my mind and body in ways I never thought possible. My rocker dick that plays like I’m a groupie struggling to get backstage where my efforts will be greatly rewarded. My illegal alien dick that doesn’t speak one fuckin' word of English, but can hit it in several different languages (French, Slavik, Greek...). My convict dick that just got out of prison after a 20 year stretch. My priest dick who lets me know all the ways that I sin and how to get on my knees to repent. My cop dick, specialist in take downs, holds, and restraints for when I resist arrest. My strict school teacher dick who sits me on his lap when I’m good, spanks me with a wooden ruler when I’m bad. My home invasion dick that climbs through my window with a ski mask, brandishing a knife and insisting I pose and play with my pussy for him before taking me.

You know what kind of woman I am so it’s confusing to you that I’m not automatically down, but it’s because I’m waiting for you to tape up properly and put on your boxing gloves. Get serious about it. I shouldn’t be the one to have to tell you what you know already - you need to jack off first even before attempting to go some rounds with me. You need to be able to go until I’m begging for you to stop, until I think I just can’t take anymore, until I’m pulling out my own hair exhausted with tears of joy. Without dropping your first load, there’s no way that you’re going to be able to hold out with the squeezing, my body writhing and the vibrating moans when I’m underneath you.

Do I want to have to tell you all these things all the time? No. Do I expect you to do these things automatically? YES, I do. I expect for it to be as automatic as when I put on those 6 inch sandals with the black straps. As automatic as the time I wore that sexy, paper thin, all black outfit that drove you nuts to see the contrast with the bright, hot pink lace panties after you pulled up that skirt. As automatic as when I flip my hair arching my back, squat with my ass poked out and legs spread apart up on that platform to talk to you. As automatic as us going to a strip club and I pull a side bar with the manager of the club to surprise you with my own performance on that pole, just for you. Yeah, I expect it to be automatic since your dick is always automatically hard from my automatic actions.

So, now you will see that I love and cherish you. We are still in the honeymoon stage in my heart every time I see your face but don’t let that fuck your mind up. I still demand all from you, the best of you, everything you’ve got to give and then a little more because I deserve it, I crave it, I lust for it. I will have it no other way than presented at the absolute top of your game or else you won’t get no pussy. None at all while your dick is rock hard wondering how you can get me to bend over like that again and spread it open so you can catch another glimpse.